a wee bit tired, a good bit happy
well, hello. it’s been a few days. how’ve you been? please let me know. i’ve been good. marnix was here for five days, we did many fun and exciting things, and much sitting around and talking and laughing, and eating of good food. we threw a little party for his birthday on saturday night, and he left today. i cried a little in the car in the airport parking lot. an attendant knocked on my window and asked me if i was okay. i guess i am.
genevieve and i went to the diner and spent a long time talking about parents tonight. it made me think of what chris said about his father being sick, and the vulnerability that comes along with a child’s reaction to their parent’s mortality. because, you know, there’s that point in your teens or so, when you realize that you’re as tall as your parents and they no longer look like icons or deities, whose words make or break your world. you start to disagree with them. you start to form your own identity, and suddenly they become just people. people you love. and yet, when something happens to them, there’s almost a complete regression and suddenly you’re five again and want to demand divine justification for the mortality of seemingly divine, limitless beings.
families really are so complicated, when you think about it. i mean, who else do you love so much, and who else can you hurt as much? can you even count the hours we sit around and talk about our families? we spend the rest of our lives sorting out the burdens and blessings that family has contributed to who we’ve become.
that’s my thought. also, after my whirlwind of visitors, all of them lovely, my little room has suddenly become very lonely. cheer me up, tell me a bedtime story.
cheers, k