Becoming Responsible Woman of Iron Will, or Similar
this morning, i accomplished the following:
1. Made appointment for dentist, thus relieving Father-Worrier of daily irritating phone calls on subject of Teeth Repair/Maintenance.
2. Made appointment for obgyn, reasons obvious.*
3. Refunded Father-Bank for trip to brasil, also cheering him up considerably.
4. Filled out Complicated-Looking Flexible-Spending-Account** Withdrawal Request to pay for Also-V.-Responsible purchase of new contact lenses***.
5. Paid both phone bills. v.v.good, as actually paid this month before long-overdue.
6. Paid off a third of Nagging Credit Card Debt.
In Addition, complete transformation into Responsible Creature of Adult Substance will necessitate the following minor changes, effective immediately:
1. No more than one hour of Soul Sucking Television a night.
2. Will power-walk around neighborhood [with hand-weights to smack Insolent-Attackers on head with] in order to shed few pounds and live up to friends’ effusive compliments concerning self’s loveliness.
3. Same goes for dieting. Will resist ordering Domino’s. This will be easier, as will no longer be spending Hours On Deadly End sitting on couch in front of Soul Sucking Television. Ergo, less Fatty Pizza****.
4. Save money by bringing lunches from home more often.
which will require:
5. Waking up at 7am more often and eating hearty whole-wheat toast breakfast and anti-oxidizing teas, dressing with leisure and preparing lunch as well as taking-out-of-garbage and dish-washing.*****
*must keep equipment in smoothly running condition for future happiness and Mini-Hiboux-Production someday.
**Account whose concept i have yet to fully comprehend but was told to use by Father-CPA.
***in order to keep eyes in relatively working condition so as to be able to actually see future mini-hiboux.
****will complementarily stop fooling self that Thin Crust Pizza is, in any way, less fattening.
*****This method will be infinitely preferable to waking up at 8:30, throwing back a cup of ulcer-giving coffee, smoking cigarette while getting ready and running out the door with panty-hose on backwards.
hurrah! in order to celebrate New-Found Responsible Inner Goddess, i think i’ll have … cheesy potato skins for lunch.
shut up, Inner Goddess!
much thanks to bridget jones for being funny enough and fictional enough that i can unabashedly rip off her style for this entry.