spot the cardinal sins:
1. scoping the chapel for hotties.
2. realizing the priest looks a lot like sir ian mackellan and the pretending he’s gandalf and you’re an elven princess.
3. reading the liturgy book and marking your place when you stand up, because it was at the juicy bit about virgins.
4. telling your dad you need to use the bathroom, then popping outside for a quick smoke.
5. making faces at the chubby little greek girl in front of you because she keeps turning around to gape.
6. taking two pieces of communion bread because it’s two in the morning and you’re hungry.
7. once outside, lighting your cigarette from the ceremonial candle you’re supposed to carry all the way home, and then blowing it out, forgetting it’s not a match.
what can i say. there’s something about the void of irony in all religious ceremonies that brings out the snarky heretic in me.

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