the fabulous girl meets the queen of charm
when i first wrote the art of charm triptych, someone said in a comment that i should write a book about it. what a very charming idea, i thought, but i was sure it’d been done. turns out, i was right.
now, when shivlet first loaned me the book, i felt a twinge of regret and jealousy. after all, i had just come round to realizing the dizzying heights of my own charm, my effortless sense of decorum and fun combined… and someone had trumped me! but after reading Izzo’s inspiringly true little gem, i’ve simply come to love the whole idea much more. decorum and charm – the art of getting it right and doing it with flair. when you’re an FG, you know everything from how to properly invite someone to a party to how to dump a man with grace and style.
and while reading the book merely affirmed my own realization that i am, indeed, quite a fabulous girl, i learned a few new things along the way as well.
the FG and sex: did you know it’s the height of rudeness not to offer some sort of breakfast to an overnight lover, even if they’re leaving early for work or home? while i have always offered coffee or toast or even simply water to a morning-after paramour, i was shocked to realize that rarely had the same courtesy ever been extended to me. nor, it seems, had i ever taken offense to the lack of decorum. but gents – take note: if you’ve just shagged a marvelously fabulous girl, make sure you offer her coffee or tea or whathaveyou in the morning. or else, she’ll eventually read her FG Guide and realize what an insensitive cad you’ve been.
the FG and entertaining: while i’ve thrown and been to scores of dinner parties in recent years of adulthood, there were some finer points i was unaware of. for instance, it’s considered badly played to bring fresh cut flowers as a gift to your hostess. you make her run around looking for a vase and trimming the stems all the while attempting to get dinner on the table and entertain her guests. instead, either have the flowers delivered beforehand or offer to arrange them yourself. or simply bring a good bottle of wine, preferably one that complements the menu which as an FG, you’ve tactfully asked about beforehand. and of course, FGs absolutely always send thank you notes, no matter how informal the occasion.
the FG and friendships: a few tips from the ladies who lunch. never bring along a guest uninvited to a girls’ event, even if it’s your boyfriend. in fact, especially if it’s your boyfriend. while your galpals may adore ___, if they’ve planned a girls’ event in their busy schedule, it’s because they want to dish about men. another friendship tip that hadn’t really occurred to me: when you’re in friendships of three or more, decide as a group how much the other galpals can discuss about absent members of your posse. i’ve been in several troikas of girl power, and we’ve never really established ground rules. but perhaps a certain friend will be more comfortable with boundaries, whereas the other two are the no-holds-barred type of gal. find out, before feelings get hurt.
all the fabulosity of the Guide has simply served to get me more excited about being a fun fearless female, has put a bounce in my step and a note of confidence in my voice. who says you can’t love pashmina AND politics?
not the fabulous girl. she loves them both.
ta!