okay, i’m not one to post about current pop culture (NO ONE MENTION THE APPLE BABY, PLEASE) but among all the current woes of television goodbyes, perhaps the saddest one is probably the least noticed… agent briscoe is being retired. the craggy, tired wit of jerry orbach has long kept me company through the good, the bad, the law, and the order. agent lennie “Morbid Comeback” briscoe, why are you being taken from us? i guess we’ll always have the laughs. the laughs and the bodies. the laughs, the bodies, and the morbid comebacks.
lennie, you were totally like that dad i would have had if i grew up in some row-house, family-oriented part of queens and i would totally forgive you for the drinking and the womanizing because damnit, you’re a great detective and so what if my childhood as your daughter made me some fast-talking queens girl that drops the second D from “didn’t”? i’d love you anyway, lennie. i still do. don’t go, lenny. you and sam waterston look so good together!
anyway, lenny, you’ll be missed. much more than frasier “SIGN OFF ALREADY WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A HAIR” crane or the entire cast of fri – “YOU ARE ALL TOO FAT AND/OR SKINNY, YOUR BEST WRITERS HAVE LONG BEEN FIRED, AND NO ONE CARES IF YOUR LOVE LIFE IS D.O.A.” -ends. certainly more than an- “WE ONLY WATCHED YOU BECAUSE WE ALL MISS BUFFY” -gel.
and i swear. i’m not kidding. if one more person asks if gwyneth’s baby name is funny because it’s almost a drink, i will do more than wear a sign. i will so totally cut you.
that is all. i promise not to blog about stupid pop culture again until next year’s premiere of the O.C. and shut up, i can still totally cut you.

Advertisement