On the post I wrote directing traffic to our wedding gallery, helpful at yahoo dot com said: “You two should check out weight watchers together.”
I replied, “Luckily for us, there might be a solution. You, on the other hand, are doomed to be an asshat for the rest of your life. Good luck with that, fucknut!”
Then I emailed Helpful at yahoo, just to confirm my suspicion that it’s a fake address. Indeed, it was. So, dear Helpful, your IP has been banned. Much like leaving NO email address, leaving a fake one is considered anonymous mud-slinging and won’t be tolerated in this queendom.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat a delicious slice of sugar-rich pound cake and exercise it off. WITH MY HUSBAND.
I’d just like to add something to what I consider to be a fairly calm reaction on the part of Miss K:
Dear Helpful:
Shut your horrible fucking face, you mindbendingly idiotic coward. Not only is that a completely inappropriate comment to even your closest friends, if you have never seen either of these remarkably beautiful people in person, you don’t know what in unholy fuck you’re talking about. Go practice being Paris Fucking Hilton somewhere else.
fuckface mckickedintheheadasababy is not only rude and outrageously vindictive, he/she is confusing. it would be one thing if you were fat. i mean, who likes a fat person?* but – and i can say this with confidence, having approximately three hundred pictures of you in my possession – you are not only CLEARLY NOT FAT, you are also CLEARLY BEAUTIFUL. i have less pictures of stuart, but i took a long, long look at the ones i have and came to a similar conclusion about him.
therefore, fuckface’s advice is misplaced. so why would this trash bag of a human being give it at all? i can think of only two explanations.
one, he/she is actually a long lost friend being pursued by the authorities of several countries, and must communicate in code. the fake name and email address are to protect the identity and location of the commenter. the understatedly malicious nature of the comment is to throw off his/her pursuers, and protect krissa from an overenthusiastic agent of the government who might kill anyone suspected of fraternity with the fugitive.
two, the commenter is just what he/she appears to be; that is, a complete fuckface waste of skin and breath with nothing better to do than spit up, bile-like, comments of unsolicited, misdirected venom on someone’s fucking BLOG.
there’s only one thing you can do with people like that. well, two things. first, block their IP addresses. second, kill them. THE PEOPLE OF PETIT HIBOUX WANT BLOOD!
*fuckfaces sometimes miss sarcasm, because they’re a)fuckfaces and b)stupid, having been kicked in the head as babies. so i’ll say it plainly: that sentence was sarcastic.
I think you two are about the cutest couple I’ve ever seen, and I’ve only seen the pictures! After I saw the pics, all I could think about was how much I want to get married.. not exactly good food for thought for a college freshman!
Anyway, who cares what some stupid, superficial, appearance-obsessed, closed-minded fuck thinks. I don’t!
Also, “asshat” is a most excellent expletive. Would you mind if I started using it in my everyday speech?
Again, much congratulations to you both.
P.S. I got your link from Fish.
I CANNOT imagine a ruder comment. Or one that would make me cry more. I am fuming for you right now!
I think you two are beautiful, and I love that I get to see your life together, even though I have never met either of you. I have only pictures to go on, but love and happiness and creativity and wit and New York and all that good stuff couldn’t make anyone look bad, let alone in need of counting food points. I hope Asshat McGee gets rickets or scurvy or something … yeah.
Do you ever wonder about someone who actually takes time to sit down and read about (and then insult) other people? Like, how sad and bitter you must really be to do that? It almost makes you feel sorry for them.
Ugh, the wonders of trolls…I’ve banned several IP’s from trolls writing similar/same to me on my own site. It makes you wonder how fucking miserable one has to be in their own existance to actually take the time to write shit like that. Fuckers.
i have a rule that perhaps OTHER PEOPLE READING THIS may find helpful. don’t say anything on the internet you wouldn’t say in real life. if we all functioned like this, what a wonderful world it would be!
plus, neither of you needs to lose any weight. AT ALL! FUCK THEM! (i’m angry now)
just to go beyond the “fat is bad” thing, isn’t part of the point that it doesnt matter whether the lovely petit hiboux or stuart are fat or not, as ph indicated with her reply? its stupid to try and sling comments as insults especially when they are vacuous and irrelevant.
who cares, helpful stranger?
I recently had a similar experience, when a guy at the mall (in front of his two toddlers!) called me ‘an ignorant minority’ for not letting him cut in front of me in line, and then proceeded to tell me to get out of ‘his’ country (even though I was born here). Well, in a matter of five seconds every cell in my body was pulsating with a rage I never knew I had in me. In fact, it took all my self control to not hurl profanities at him (which, thankfully, I refrained from.)
After two days worth of seething anger that such ignorance still exists in the world, I realized that really, I should pity this poor, ignorant human being, who probably felt as though he was being swallowed into a world he couldn’t cope with – he just wasn’t able to deal with the fact that the world was passing him by. And once I realized that, he and his little life and his stupid comments shrank in importance, only to remembered with a shaking head and a shrug of the shoulders.
My point is, by being profance back at this guy, we are in a way sinking to his level and dignifying his comment with a response. The fact that it was so ludicously inappropriate and irrelevant and untrue makes it clear that s/he was jealous of your happiness and wanted to make you feel bad to make himself feel better. Why spend an iota of energy on a person as little, as insecure, as immature, as smallhearted as that? They will never be happy as long as they put negative energy out into the world, anyway. That alone is punishment enough.
Hey, I’ve never posted here, never said anything to you, but your blog has been just lovely and wonderful to read over the last couple of months. People are gonna say shitty stuff, people always do, and you gotta shake it off. Don’t even dignify them, you’re doing just fine.
Please. You guys are absolutely gorgeous. And, though I only know you through your words, absolutely lovely. I’m thinking “Helpful” is also a tad “Bitter” – two beautiful people in love, living happily ever? Obviously, someone’s jealous.
“Helpful” can just go to hell!
F*ck helpful. An asshat indeed.
You and Stuart are too darn cute. I’m gettin’ a toothache over here!
You know, I had someone do something really similar, saying that a photo I had posted made my butt look really big. And I wrote back to them, and the email didn’t bounce, so I think it was a real address. I don’t get it… why just put something negative?
Remember what Thumper’s dad used to say “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothin’ at all.”
Keep it to yourself, helpful people.
Oh, honey, please. Sounds like someone is just bitter that they’ll never be as mind-bendingly happy as you and your new husband.
Their punishment is they get to be them. Your reward is you get to be you.
C’est la vie.
6143 Very well said chappy.
4568 Great posts.
8912 wow, way to go
7316 Thanks for it
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