I’ll tell you what’s funny. What’s funny is that because of my first serious boyfriend, I totally abhor Jimmy Buffet. The guy seriously worshipped Buffet, and it made me hate everything about him. He – the boyfriend, not Jimmy Buffet – named his car after Buffet’s daughter. He named his dog JB. He liked to talk about how one day he’d give it all up and sail around the Caribbean like some weird cross between Buffet himself and Tom Cruise in Cocktails. He wore hawaiian shirts like they were ever a good idea.
It made me HATE JIMMY BUFFET by extension. I still think Parrotheads are mentally disturbed, obsessed with a man that’s not actually as much of a “free-spirit” as they seem desperately to believe he is. Do we even KNOW if Buffet was ever any kind of sailor, ever? Or did anything but visit Key West that one time and write crappy songs about it, forever to be played in hotel bars anywhere near a beach, but otherwise with no inherent musical VALUE whatsoever? The ex-boyfriend, apparently, is still a Parrothead. And I am still a Jimmy Buffet hater. But that’s not what’s funny.
What’s funny is that I’m going on vacation in a month to the very place that Cheeseburger in Paradise was apparently born.
Bring on the endless renditions of Margaritaville. With tinny drums. And a Parrothead on the mike, living the “dream”. If a rash of Buffet is what it takes to get a slice of paradise in Eleuthera, AHOY ME HEARTIES, I’m in.
* ten points and a shaker of salt to anyone who knows what this is referring to.

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