There’s this great episode of Friends where Chandler quits his job because he doesn’t want to turn into someone who only cares about the numbers, only to get lured back by great pay, and the episode closes with all his friends wondering where he is at 11PM on a Friday night, and it turns out he’s at the office, yelling down the phone about the WENUS.
It’s sort of like that in my life right now. Not that I’m blogging about work, but there’s this new system being implemented to handle the financial side of producing a magazine, and as the person most adaptable to change (and the daughter of an accountant), it’s sort of been put in my lap to handle the transition from the old system to the new one. I can joke all I like about “I, for one, welcome our new PeopleSoft overlords”, but let’s face it, it’s sort of my job now.
What’s fascinating in all this isn’t whether or not too much work has or has not been dropped in my lap, or whether or not it was ever part of my job description to do all this stuff. What’s fascinating is there’s a part of me that LIKES it. And then there’s another part of me that HATES that I like it. I’m naturally a problem solver – I’m one of those people that will ASK to untangle your necklace for it because I like knots and undoing them. Which is, I think, a jarring side of my otherwise totally chaotic, creative personality. So there’s all this really complicated work to do, and there’s attendant paperwork, and there are people to handhold as they unwillingly are dragged towards change, and there are new systems to implement, and I complain about it because it’s a pain in the ass, but the real pain in the ass is I simply won’t let it go.
My otherwise disorganized, free-wheeling personality turns into the Virgo everyone who believes in Astrology thinks I should be. And I enjoy it. What’s problematic is that this isn’t my natural state, I don’t think. A friend once said, when I pointed out how overwhelmingly messy his room was, “you’re exactly the same as I am, messy at heart. Only you fight it and make yourself miserable by guilting yourself into being someone you’re not.” I’ve never forgotten it, albeit paraphrased, because what he was saying was that it is not in my NATURE to be meticulously organized and attentive.
Which, to an extent, is true. I am organized and meticulous in very small bursts, and then completely three-sheets-to-the-wind when it comes to maintaining that level or organization. These little systems and tasks I’m setting up around myself here at work, gleefully, will only turn into crabby sullen teenagers that I hate having to nurture in a few months.
So what’s natural? Is it really possible that I’m this diametrically opposed to myself? Can I really be BOTH nitpickingly organized and then a shitstorm of mess in the same lifetime? How can I both secretly adore making Excel spreadsheets, and then let my shoes litter the entire apartment?
Is this normal? And now, I have to go back to the WENUS.




I think most of us are diametrically opposed to ourselves. Most of us can’t express it as elegantly and neatly as you, though.
I’m a Virgo, so the line about our personalities really caught my attention. Maybe you’re a completion-type? I never mind the mess attendant upon putting a play together (my job) because it will all come together on opening night, and on to the next task. I will do whatever process it takes to complete a task, but what I enjoy is the actual completion.
1. What are WENUS?
2. ‘Three sheets to the wind’ means drunk.
3. I am sorry to inform you that you are now married to one of those annoying nitpicking commenters.
Love your site, by the way.
I love balancing my checkbook. I balance it every few days. WITH SOFTWARE.
When I balance my checkbook I sit at my computer desk which is next to my drafting table which is almost A FOOT HIGH in papers, paints and clutter.
Stuart, I was USING the three-sheets-to-the-wind metaphor to ILLUSTRATE THE DRUNKEN APPROACH I TAKE TO ORGANIZATION.
Also, it’s not MY fault if you haven’t seen the episode in question.
Relatedly, PPPFFFFBTBTBB.
totally normal. love Excel spreadsheets, closet is a shitstorm. or maybe Im just abnormal as well.
apropos of nothing, I 100% blame YOU for my newfound LOVE, apparently, of CAPITALIZING.
We’re just very emphatic people.
Well, I’m a Virgo and because I find the whole astrology thing fun, I also found that I am a Pisces rising, which is pretty wild because those two signs are exact opposite in the Zodiac. So I find I have many of the same traits and habits that you describe. It would be interesting to see what your rising sign is, since it’s supposedly the biggest influence on your personality besides your Sun sign.
I have never had it described so accurately, but that is me too. I crave organization and have always taken to annoying tasks like untying knotty necklaces. I go on huge spurts where I need to overhaul my closet, desk, kitchen etc. and it looks great for a little while and then it all fades back to my original “creative” messy usual.
omg. i know you. i am you. all i ever wanted to do was write very tortured poetry or something equally meaningful/irrelevant and now i spend much of my day in excel and checking out foreign exchange rates and i love it. there. I’ve said it. I love numbers. Also, i am messy but clean. This means: throwing my stuff all over my house randomly, then getting so disgusted at the mess that I alphabetize the knives by make.
yes.
thanks for your post.
There is no ‘normal’. Remember that, and you’ll always be fine.
You are totally normal. I, however, tend to lean more towards Monica: extremely clean and organized, but I have the secret closet that is totally messy that I don’t want anyone to know about.
Opps…I just let out my secret.
I’m right there with you. Shoes all over the apartment and all.
Same with the clutter and the need for organization and meticulousness (a word?).
I go on cleaning binges — where everything must be wiped and polished and cleaned, even the closets. Then I vow to keep it that way always and forever.
And before I know it, I’m tripping over shoes and cursing myself over the clutter. And its time for another cleaning binge.
Totally normal, I say.
drunken approach to organization.
yup, that’s my new catch-phrase.
So nice to find a kindred spirit. I haven’t properly tidied my room for weeks…ok months but I am completely anal about water spots on cutlery…to the point that my flatmate and I fall out about it on a regular basis.
Somedays I wonder if I’m just a little bit crazy.
Love the site. I’ll come back for a visit sometime.
I absolutely know how you feel….I have been described as insanely anal retentive and insanely disorganized…I am messy at heart, but I need systems and an extreme amount of structure in order to keep my life running smoothly. It kinda sucks, being “diametrically opposed,” it would be easier to be one or the other. However, I think it would make life less productive and/or interesting to simply be one or the other.