things that have been hard lately:
1. Feeling like the world, and the people in it, are passing me by when in fact they’re just doing what they’ve always done – it’s me that’s slowed down.
2. Remembering that each day does not start in the red simply because yesterday was bad. Each day starts afresh and if I accomplish something I set out to do, then it was a good day. If I did not, it was a bad day, and tomorrow is a new day.
3. My chair. If I don’t wear pants, I stick to it. This is uncomfortable, especially with sunburn.
4. The apartment always has something that I could be doing, but I am resisting housecleaning for more than a few minutes each day because it’s too tempting to spend all day doing that simply because it’s productive.
5. Shutting off my brain and its worries so that I can write.
things that have been good lately:
1. Going to the beach on Monday, even with the resulting sunburn.
2. Realizing that I have the gift of a few months of subsidized writing, months where I don’t HAVE to throw myself at a part-time job if I don’t want to, months that I may not have again for a long time. Months that are a gift to myself, to write write write.
3. Having friends and family that prop me up even when I am knocking myself down.
4. Knowing that I DO have the resources to make this a success, even if they seem like they’re buried under dirty dishes and laziness.
5. Air-conditioning.
In short, this is all much more work than I ever thought it would be, even when I thought I’d be prepared. I must make a mental note that parenting is going to have the same effect – even when you think you’re ready, you’ve got no idea.
Keep that chin up, and keep plugging away! You’re living your dreams, and while they rarely come cheap, they are worth the hard work.
Amen to that last sentiment, a frillion times over. And really, to almost everything you say.
(I am also sticking to my chair, and rooting for you hard.)
Just keep swimming.
If you think about it, any new job takes at least a few weeks, if not months, to really get into the groove, to figure out effective patterns and habits. You’ll get there. Meanwhile, I (among many others, I’m sure) will be cheering for you.
My guess is that it will also work the same as parenting in its’ rewards, i.e. you cannot imagine them until you experience them, and you will experience them in ways you cannot imagine.
My partner is here this week and we are working on Act I of a new play. Think good thoughts for us, and I will be sending yes-beams toward Astoria.
You’re in Astoria, right? Did you get hit with the blackout?
Hang in there with the writing–transitions like these take time!
Hi Krissa,
Long time reader, first time commenter…;p
From personal experience, I heartily suggest that you get yourself to a local public library or other spot. All you have to do is bring the laptop, right?
Home is VERY difficult to work from. I do it, and it’s super hard! I don’t really have the luxury of going somewhere else, because I have piles of stuff I need to refer to, but whenever I have the chance, it’s off to my local coffee shop I go.
And you’ll save on AC…