A few days ago, we were sitting in Union Square watching the people go by when we got that sinking feeling of inevitability – someone with an earnestly outraged tee-shirt and a clipboard was heading RIGHT FOR US.
Guy With Earnest Tee-Shirt And Clipboard: “Hi, I’m with the Green Party, are you registered voters in this state?”
Stuart, in teeth-baringly friendly John-Cleese-Type Accent: “Oh, I’m TERRIBLY sorry, but we’re just here on vacation.”
I knew I married well. Now if I could just teach him to simply hang up on telemarketers.
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Ha, my husband won’t hang up on them either. I try to teach him to just pick up and say right away “Please put me on the do not call list” but to no avail. He’s too polite.
In my defence, I’ve voted Green in the UK a couple of times. I just didn’t want us to be bothered.
I still can’t believe I said ‘vacation’.
I’ve always wanted to mess with the telemarketers…start a horrible sob story, or pretend to be unstable, involve the multiple personalities, etc. I’ve never had the nerve though!!
Ha ha ha! Priceless!
When my mom moved out, I had a telemarketer ask to speak to her. I siad, “She’s moved to Vermont.” He said, “Is there a better time for me to reach her?” I said, “She moved. To VERMONT.” And he said, “Okay, I’ll just call back later.” I said, “Hello? She. Moved. To. Vermont.” Doofus.
Vacation?! He’s being Americanized!
You married well indeed.
Wow! Nice technique. Although, honestly, I do always feel a bit sorry for telemarketers and the like. Man, that’s gotta be one stinky job. That’s probably the stinkiest, non-dangerous job I can think of. (there are probably more, but I’m sleepy and my brain has already closed up shop for the night).
Last night my door bell rang and there on my front porch was this little hippie chick reeking of patchouli. She was barefoot, although it was still 100 degrees outside. And what was she risking third degree burns on her feet for? She wanted me to sign a petition asking Dell Computers to quit throwing old computers in our landfills. She was so serious and I all I could think to say to her was “couldn’t you find something more important to do with your time”? Like feeding the homeless, protesting the war or saving African orphans! I know the environment is important, but for some reason this just struck me as absurd.
one time my husband told a telemarketer (who called at like, 6pm), “what time do you eat dinner? what’s your phone number so i can call YOU right in the middle of YOUR dinner?”
my strategy is similar: I use a low growing voice to say, “yo govriuut horosho po russki.” I was doing fine with it too till they sent that goddamn bilingual bitch from Tiblisi after me.
So many possible comebacks so little time.
Well, it could have been worse. Last week my mother saw two gay men with clipboards looking for Republicans. In Chelsea.
I turn my American accent WAY up when I get approached by clipboarded people in France. I never feel badly about it either.
I was just thinking – a true Brit would have said ‘on holiday’………