So, I’ve been doing this for a week and a day. I’m still struggling with how much to say about my actual pupils, but I have a lot to say about teaching and my head-first dive into it, so here goes nothing.
Thing the first: I am insane. Does anyone else know anyone who, with absolutely no prior experience teaching actual children, decides to take a job teaching actual children? First graders? Here’s the thing. I’ve spent an enormous amount of time care-taking for children. Two solid years, in fact, of part- to full-time childcare. And I’m damned good at it. Because the way I always approached working with children is to show them interest, respect, and a sense of fun off the bat, and win them over with sugar and a firm sense of consistency.
Imagine me, then, in a raft in the middle of the ocean, and that firm sense of consistency is all I’ve got left. I can’t get these kids under my rule with respect and a sense of fun. I’ve got to be tough as nails. Has anyone noticed that I’m not actually tough as nails?
Thing the Second: I remember being a child. I remember the seemingly arbitrary judgements thrown on us by teachers, the “No!”s and the “Not now!”s and all those things. I REMEMBER thinking they were unfair and thoughtless.
Guess what? One week and one day and I’m throwing out “Only if you sit DOWN first!”s and “Did I tell you to do that?”s with the BEST of them. And do you know what it feels like? It feels like there’s a middle line of ineffective, ineffectual teaching that straddles the divide between Good Teaching and Bad Teaching (that is to say, NOT Teaching). It feels like I’m constantly being tugged down onto the level of Ineffectuality by these pronouncements and judgments that classroom management forces me to make.
I want to be a good teacher. That is to say, I genuinely care about these kids and I KNOW I have something to offer them and more than that, I know they deserve it, possibly twice as much as their more well-endowed counterparts across the East River. And I know they can do it. And I know I can help them. But everytime I have to sink back down to the level of snapping my fingers for attention, or raising my voice (even if I’m raising my voice in a controlled way), I feel like I’m veering from teaching into corralling.
And you veterans out there, I know you will tell me that corralling is necessary for classroom management. And I know you will probably tell me that a stern hand and follow-through on consequences is vital, and in this neighborhood, chances are that school might be the only place they’re getting structure.
But I want to actually teach them. I don’t want to just herd them into lines all the time. I want to share with them.
Thing the Third: Forget everything I’ve just said. I know I’m getting through to them, but it’s little tiny battles all the time and it’s harder and more challenging than every single thing I’ve ever done, including writing and the learning curve is impossibly steep. I’ve made some stupid mistakes – not giving full weight to the incomprehensible heirarchy of a child’s understanding of fairness is one. Saying yes simply because I was being badgered by a child is another.
But I’m learning, and learning requires setting up all these almost nonsensical rules and processes for the classroom that really seem to get in the damned WAY of teaching. So I’m trying new things all the time, which is inconsistent.
Didn’t I start that section by saying I know I’m doing well? I’m trying to trust that I’m doing well. It’s hard.
Oh, Thing the Forth: Kids? They’re cunning little things. And sometimes, I need to remember that it’s not that I’m not getting through to them – it’s that they’re not letting me. But they will.
Relatedly, I read some Shel Silverstein poems to them today and they loved it. Baby steps.
sinking under the watermark
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It sounds as if you doing well so far. You have to be strict at first, and once you have the kids under your thumb, you can relinquish a little bit. If you’re easy on them from day one, it’s a lost cause.
So don’t hesitate to be harsh.
I could write a book on this topic (Oh wait! I wrote a blog!).
I was in the exact same shoes as yours three years ago (Except I was teaching 12 middle-school special ed boys in the janitor’s closet. Literally. I had to move the trash bags out daily.). No teaching experience. I figured they would just “see” that I was cool.
Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha on me.
Structure, structure, structure. It will just take time to figure out what will work for you (Sorry, I’m sure that’s the exact opposite of what you want to hear right now. But anyone who tells you that their first year of teaching was anything but TOTAL CRAP is lying and lame.).
Are you getting any writing done? Because I saw so many people try to enter teaching as a way to have time to do other things and then find out it was the most time-consuming job they ever had. Which is fine, if that’s what you want, but if you don’t….
classroom management has to come first. without it, you can’t teach. SO, if you have to spend 2-3 weeks just getting routines and rules down then do that and don’t feel bad about it because it will allow the teaching to follow. hang in there. this is the toughest and best job you could do.
Are you teaching full-time, or after-school? (I couldn’t remember if you’d specified.) Teaching is so, so hard. Classroom management is key. You’ll get there!
One thing that helps: you have to pick your battles. Your kids know what they should and shouldn’t do. I find it handy to just glare or knock on their desk when my kids do something obnoxious, then get off their case and give them a second to get it under control. That way, when they do something that’s heinous or dangerous or WAY out of line, it isn’t meaningless if I yell. Nonverbal cues are really important for minor infractions. Also, it helps with little kids to have material incentives for the ones that behave. Some teachers disagree, but I think that erasers and gold stars and candy (on occasion) are fine when you’re talking about people under 9.
I also remember being frustrated with what seemed like arbitrary and nonsensical rules as a kid. My mom’s solution was to explain why certain things needed to be done and make me feel like I was part of a larger process. Hopefully that will work at least a little for the conscientious kids when there are actual practical reasons that you need them to sit down.
Also, I agree that it’s probaby better to start out overly structured and perhaps a little harsh because once they know you’re serious, you have more leeway to be “cool” later. It just doesn’t seem to work the other way around.
I’m sure you’re doing a great job, and girl, you can read Shel Silverstein to me any day of the week. I’ll even sit on the floor and keep my mouth shut.
Hang in there! Teaching is just tough!!
I taught college freshmen for a few years and the withering looks they would constantly shoot me were like laser beams. By the end of it I think I’d shrunk about a foot in height from all the little bits and pieces they’d blasted off of me.
Now I teach adults and I love it! But, I do only teach one class a week.
I’ve been reading your blog for years, and this is the first time I’ve posted from the ether. Please know that a sense of discipline and the understanding of how to manage one’s time and mind is *THE* most important thing that a young person learns.
It is always a thrill to learn something new, to get information about the world and to understand the frame that sits around a set of ideas, but the most useful thing I learned in school, in first grade, was the idea that every day, I had a responsibility to enforce my own discipline, that the new ideas I wanted and the information I craved were only going to come to me if I could fight the battle of *sitting still and listening*.
“Where The Wild Things Are” meant the world to me, and still does, but only a disciplined writer could have written it. These kids will go on to greatness not just because of the curriculum, but because you continue to create an environment where the curriculum is possible.
take the tough kids and give them important roles. “hey, you get to be the monitor today!” “hey, you’re in charge of such and such!”
good luck. it’s hard. reallllly hard.
Krissa-
As a Teach For America alum, I definitely know what it’s like to be completely thrown to the lions! However, I had a wonderful four years of teaching, and I’m now in grad school for education. This is an intellectually challenging career where you are always learning, and you are always having to adapt to new situations and expand your “tool kit.” For now, in this very long post, I have a few simple suggestions:
1.)Someone mentioned that you should spend the first 2-3 weeks on procedures. That is absolutely right! Don’t worry about teaching them right now. Have them practice lining up the exact way you want them to. Have them practice passing/using scissors. Have them practice glue procedures. Model exactly how to sit on the carpet/at their desks, and have them practice it. You can make a game out of it. I would teach my students to hold a “bubble” in their mouths (puff their cheeks with air) while walking down the hall. It kept them from talking. They loved it!
2.)I would have an “attention getting” signal (chimes…but you can raise your hand, or figure something else out that works). When they hear the chimes, no matter what they’re doing, they ALL have to freeze and POINT to me so that I have their full attention. Practice it a lot, it will save you soooo much instructional time when you need to get their attention!
3.) I always had a “discipline zone” where I would stand if I needed to address the entire class about behavior. That way, disciplining wasn’t associated in their brains with where I would stand to deliver instruction (a trick I got from reading lots of brain research).
4.) I taught my students hand signals that they could use if they needed to get out of their seats for any reason. That way, they wouldn’t have to interrupt me.
Great tips from Brooke!