So, if you haven’t noticed, blogging is hard. Mostly because at least three days of every week, I come home too exhausted to do anything but sit on the couch and be waited on hand and foot by Stuart (I know.*) and then sleep really late the next day** because getting up and facing all the non-teacherly things I need to do reminds me of all the teacherly things I need to do and both make me sort of want to cry a little bit.
Sometimes, I do. It’s very depressing, constantly feeling overwhelmed. As I’m sure many of you know. My family and friends sure do, it’s all I ever talk about. Sick of it yet, guys?
Teaching is hard because I love my kids to distraction and I see so much potential in them begging to be nourished and encouraged and I’m trying so hard to do it but the need to manage and discipline them comes first. I’d say that it was getting better – and it is, and it will – but there are days that feel like two steps forward and one and a half steps back, which is slow progress. I feel unequipped to do what they need from me, and it feels like a huge mountain that I’m trying to climb with a toothpick. I am assured this will get easier. Mostly by fellow teachers and Stuart.
But enough! Short of regaling you with cute stories about little _________ and that INFURIATING ___________ of his, or _________ and how proud I am of her ___________, I should stop talking about teaching now.
How about writing!
Oh, that isn’t going so well either. Every day is a new chance, right? Right.
Outside of teaching and writing: I’m not seeing my friends enough, and this is because I am constantly wiped out, every day, and it takes half the weekend to recover from it. Last weekend, I stayed home all day on Saturday and read The End and napped and made apple cake and red beans and rice for dinner and watched LOTR with Stuart. And then after pottering around the house until Sunday late afternoon, we went row-boating in Central Park. We saw a turtle. It was sort of incredibly awesome and beautiful, and it was the nicest thing I’ve done for weeks.
And today, here in RI, we walked to Seven Star Bakery in the morning for coffee and croissants, scored lots of yummy genre-y paperback fiction at the Rochambeau Branch Book Sale (plus awesome tote bag, sort of making up for this) and plus also, played frisbee in the waning afternoon sunlight.
Oh, and mom gave me the Perfect Red Wool Coat. So, really, I can’t complain too much about teaching and writing (comma the terror thereof slash comma the lack thereof) because my weekends have been pretty relaxing.
They have to be, right?
So how are you?
* let it be known that I fully understand that I don’t actually have it bad here – I actually have it good. It’s just unlike me to feel so incredibly dependent on being taken care of – for which I am very grateful indeed.
** ditto.

Advertisement