It’s not like I don’t tell myself every week that this week is going to be a high-volume writing week.
And it’s not like this week didn’t have some justifiably huge, complicated necessities on the to-do list, of which I can divulge more later.
And it’s not like only sitting down to finally fucking write on Thursday of said week is really championing my own brilliance.
But in the interest of self-esteem, and preservation of this fragile hold I have on my own goals, I did write this morning. For two hours. Without too much distraction and sticking marginally to the plot and characters that have been languishing desperate for attention in my documents folder for months now.
I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do this, but it is, and conquering the hard and the fear and the angst is the only way to shut up the demons of self-loathing and doubt that plague my creative mind. At least, for today, I shut them up good and proper. And that deserves at least a bounce in my step.
tiny victories
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Krissa, any victory is still a victory, right? Two hours of good solid writing is a zillion times better than four or six or twelve hours of staring at your computer and ekeing out a sentence or two.
I have the same problem with my painting. A lot of times, the LAST thing I want to do is paint, but I force myself and try and some days are better than others, but I am still painting, still doing what I love.
Keep on keepin’ on!
I do not like to write – I like to have written. ~Gloria Steinem
Way to keep those demons tamed!
I think it’s pretty much always hard. Once in a while you find yourself in that magical place when the actual writing is easy, but that’s rare, and it seems like it’s always hard to “apply ass to chair” as they say. I’m in an MFA writing program and have three solid projects well underway and I STILL struggle to make myself write! What is up with that? All the writers I know, even the ones with 15+ books under their belts, say the same thing, though.
“You have to write if you’re going to be a writer. Because elves won’t do the work for you.” (Neil Gaiman)
“Take the time to write. You can do your life’s work in half an hour a day.” (Robert Hass)
I know how you can feel better. Write more on your blog. Your adoring fans miss you.
Have you read Orhan Pamuk’s nobel acceptance speech? It was published in The New Yorker around December. It’s very inspiring and touching and talks alot of the writing process. It’s never easy but we love it anyway.