To Whom It May Concern:
Although I was originally not a supporter of Krissa’s doctrine of eating kittens for breakfast, I now heartily endorse her and all attendant eating habits to your organization. Kittens are a leftist conspiracy plague that threatens our great nation.
Krissa does not own any pets.
When you first meet Krissa, the third arm protruding from her chest might take you aback, but please keep in mind that it’s the very third arm which will help you carry your groceries, because that’s the kind of freak she is.
Krissa is strong and helpful.
I would like to take this opportunity to praise Krissa for the steps she’s taken in curing her habit of throwing pots and pans at the heads of passersby. This might seem like a hindrance, but Krissa has turned it into a campaign for justice. She now ONLY throws pots and pans at those individuals she deems subversive to society.
Krissa cares about her community.
Although Krissa voted Democrat in this past election, please be assured of her strong moral fibre, family values, and staying-the-coursedness. Her projected vote for Hillary Clinton in 2008 is expected to be reversed after many hours of re-education therapy paid for and supported by her dad.
Krissa votes will vote Republican.
Sincerely,
T.C.T.H.E.K.I.A.W.
(The Committee To Heartily Endorse Krissa In All Ways)
* completely fabricated and in all other ways bears no reality to any current or future referral letters.

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