I need to tell you some of my favorite things about nano because people, nano put us through the ringer last night, the ringer of whining and pacing and the various non-canine animal sounds of his warbling, and before I tell you about that, I need to tell you about how wonderful life is with nano. Otherwise that’s just not fairly representing nano in the media. And we don’t yet know if nano is the type of dude to slap a libel suit and a half-dozen lawyers on us like white on rice, know what I mean?
Once upon a time less than a week ago, we brought nano home from the ASPCA where he was known as Popi and scared of everything including boxes, doors, and paper. When we got him home we added to the list as terrifying items were discovered numbering but not limited to: leaves, curbs, doors and the doorways that love them, fans, thresholds, shoes, cabinets, chairs, and umbrellas.
To be fair to the guy, most of these things have ceased to terrify him. His likes now basically include Stuart and me, snuggling on the couch with Stuart and me, and this rawhide chew that’s wrapped around a fake sausage. As far as we can surmise, nano’s current idea of heaven would be snuggling on the couch with Stuart and me while chewing on the rawhide chew that’s wrapped around a fake sausage. He also seems to like the noises penguins make when depicted on PBS.
Something else we’ve learned from nano this week is how fucking loud the entire world is, oh my god, did you know this? Well let me tell you, when you are walking along the street with a skittish chihuahua who barely knows where he is, and there is a gaggle of teenagers hooting in one corner, a dude with a leafblower in another (as if leaves weren’t scary enough now we have machines that make them attack you in great swarms), a livery cab honking incessantly in a third corner, and me with my giant terrifying feet right behind him, well. It starts to look like a video game nightmare that you just have to dash through screaming which is pretty much what nano does. And these are just normal street noises. I haven’t even mentioned the people who own businesses with grates, sweet blessed mother of jesus, that they release from their holds and just allow to crash down to the sidewalk like so many dozen Armageddons descending from heaven. Jonathan Safran Foer wrote a book about the World Trade Center attack titled Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. In nano’s world, that book is about Eighth avenue in Brooklyn.
Really, the coolest thing we’ve discovered so far about nano is that he’s ours, and he’s starting to know us too, and know that we’re his. And all the other stuff, the two-steps-forward, three-steps-back week we’ve had with eating and potty training and leash-walking and the noises he makes in the night that sound like a walrus trying to imitate a canary, those are just the sounds of settling.
I’m pretty impressed that I managed to be this fair on four hours of sleep. It’s because, I mean, look how cute he is:

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