Okay, I described nano’s nighttime warbling as a walrus imitating a canary. Stuart thinks it sounds more like a llama with a seagull trapped inside.
It doesn’t really matter how you describe it, what matters is he’s been doing it every night for an hour. Well, not every night. That first night where we were loud looming hulking beasts, he fell asleep just fine in the living room all night. Probably less “fell asleep” and more “finally collapsed from sheer terror”.
But the downside to him bonding to us has been that since he’s only comfortable hanging out in the living room and hasn’t really gotten used to the bedroom, he doesn’t understand what we do in that other room. So we’re torn between allowing him into the bedroom and having him pace and sniff and try to jump in the bed, or leaving him in the living room where he’s used to falling asleep.
As you can see, nothing has really worked. nano is sort of still a puppy – he’s only about seven or eight months old. Puppies are used to whining and calling out so that the pack can find them. We are, for lack of a hoard of chihuahuas, nano’s pack. And we spend all evening on the couch with him only to inexplicably get up and go to that other room with all the tall furniture and socks on the floor, why? Why, humans?
Is what he’s saying with all the whining. And the warbling. And the drawn out syllables of high-pitched questioning. All the literature says don’t go! Don’t go out there while he’s whining! And all that literature is coming smack up against my every instinct to go comfort him, and also to go pick him up so that he will STOP! WHINING! OMG! So that I can sleep.
Unfortunately, on Thursday night, we sort of did exactly that. Stuart had stayed up playing video games so when he came to bed at 2, I’d already been asleep for three hours and then the whining and howling started. And after 45 minutes of it, I was crying from exhaustion so we decided to open the blockade in the living room doorway and see what happened. What happened was he came into the room and jumped right on the bed and generally made a nuisance of himself. Of course he did! When we finally put him back into the living room with NPR playing quietly, he whined for another twenty minutes before falling asleep from exhaustion. What a great lesson we taught nano! Whine enough and we’ll come get you! GREAT.
Of course, as everyone’s been reminding me, it’s getting a little better. Last night he only did it every two minutes for an hour until either he passed out from exhaustion or I did. You’ll note the scientific precision with which I clocked the frequency of whines. I’m going to be the valedictorian of contractions, lemme tell you. Stuart, unfortunately, can sleep right through it. (Hmph.)
We’ve bought him a dog bed, and have been acclimatizing him to it so that eventually, we can put it on the floor of our room and he’ll fall right asleep in it, and we’re introducing him slowly to the room so that he can come in at night without needing to sniff every single damned inch of it.
None of which makes me feel any better when it’s two thirty in the morning and I’m thinking of drinking two bottles of nyquil just to get some sleep.
Notes from the trenches of new-doghood would be greatly, greatly appreciated. Because what I need, of course, to really fully obsess about this, is more piles of information. Bring it!
It’s CIO, dog-version!
There are so many schools of thought on this, and we caved and let our dog sleep on the bed. But it sounds like she’s got better bed manners than rascally Nano, she pretty much lays down and goes to sleep while one of us spoons her. Before my boyfriend caved and let her sleep on the bed, she was encouraged to sleep in her crate, and she kind of loves that. It might be too ‘wide open spaces’ for Nano in the living room. Consider a crate, and you don’t have to lock him in there, but he might feel safer if he has some walls around him. My final thought is you need some Cesar Milan in your life. Exercise, discipline, then affection. The biggest thing is exercise – since he’s still a puppy, he needs a lot of it, and not just inside chasing the ball, outside too. Our dog had serious separation anxiety before we started giving her a two mile run every morning, and now she’s pretty much ok with us leaving. She just had too much energy and was using it negatively by trying to burrow under the door. I would recommend a decently long walk in the morning and before dinner if you can. (You didn’t say, you might already be doing that.)
Good luck!
Tamara – oh, don’t get me wrong. Nano would lie RIGHT down and spoon with us in bed. We just don’t really want to share our bed. It’s crowded enough with just us in there.
I’m very Cesar Millan as well, and we’re definitely giving Nano plenty of exercise for a chihuahua, two 45 minute walks a day and a 20-30 minuter right when we get home, feeding him after walks so that he works for his food, starting to practice some basic commands and discipline (no barking, jumping; working on fetch).
I think the evening thing is just that, like you said, the living room gets to be a lonely place once we leave for the night and he needs a more confined, cozy space to sleep – like his bed! On the floor of our room! But before that will work, he has to get 100% comfortable with his bed, which he slowly is doing.
Oh, and once nano gets totally comfortable here with us – another few weeks? – we will get a good crate for him. He used one at the shelter so it’ll just be a matter of getting him into his new one and I’m sure he’ll feel right at home.
I used to dogsit a Westie, and she would sing me to sleep every night. She’d sit right by the bed and rawrooo rawrooo rawrooo. I don’t think she was whining, I really, really think she just wanted to sing me to sleep.
Maybe that thought will help you fall asleep to nano’s whines.
I totally understand. Lula hogs the bed and I occasionally kick her off, she hops back on and stays at the foot of the bed, so it works out. It sounds like you guys are doing everything you’re supposed to, it’s just going to take some time.
We got our dog, Ted, a crate before we even picked him up, so it’s the only bed he’s ever known. The whining is really hard to resist, though, but I wouldn’t really know since I am the one of us who can sleep through it. Sorry.
It’s cheesy, but we take almost all of our dog behavioral tips from Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer. His book was really helpful and informative for us as first-time puppy owners in terms of understanding pack mentality, so I’d recommend it.
My comment got so long that I turned it into an email.
Have you tried leaving him a t-shirt to sleep with or something that smells like you? Also, maybe if he had a stuffed animal toy or something that reminds him of being in a “pack”, he would feel like he wasn’t sleeping alone.
I think that a crate is the way to go for a puppy- then it is “theirs” where the entire living room is more “ours”
my yorki-poo is 6 months old and she has pretty much been sleeping in the bed since 3 months. I know that goes against most advice but as a “single mom” – I had to find things that allowed me to get some sleep. I keep her confined to the bedroom at night but she pretty much sleeps like a rock. I tried the crate at night in my room right beside the bed but she was having NONE of that and kept me up most of the night – coupled with the fact of potty training — going out 3 times a night — I was dying of sleep deprivation. She really really does not like her crate at all. Yes I know I”m spoiling her terribly!
Ps: Now she is sleeping straight thru for 6-7 hours.
Try wearing Nano out, not right before bed, but maybe an hour or so before you plan on going to bed. If it’s too close to bed time, he’ll just be all wound up. Also, try to regulate your own schedule. That will make Nano more comfortable because his life will be more predictable. After he’s settled in, it should be fine for one of you to stay up late, but now it’s probably confusing.
Also, maybe put a hot water bottle in his bed under a blanket so he feels cozy. He must be such a sad little puppy to have ended up in a shelter so young.
Also, invest in a pair of earplugs.
I honestly have no bits of wisdom to add as my husband and I have recently acquired a wee ankle biter ourselves (He is Iggy, and is 8 weeks old), and the whining was completely insanity-inducing the first few nights. The only reason it’s gotten better is because we’ve stopped barricading him anywhere at night, and he sleeps in the bedroom, albeit not in our bed, as you so aptly pointed out, he is just a (cute, little) nuisance when he does that.
I’m just waiting for him to understand that daytime is for play, and night is for SLEEP, blessed blessed sleep.
You should invest in a baby sleep book. Your post and the comments scarily resemble some advice I’ve come across about how to get a baby to sleep through. Separation Anxiety? 7 months? It figures. Just wait until those teeth come through and you’ll wonder if you’ve ever slept more than 2 hours in one go.